I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
