Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just gift wrapped bread.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
