You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
