she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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