it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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