I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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