I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
