Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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