we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
