Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
