let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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