I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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