a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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