Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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