Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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