i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize