so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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