Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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