I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
