Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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