We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
