so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
