i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize