I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
