so explain again why im purple
no
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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