Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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