But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize