You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
