Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
