Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
