we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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