guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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