You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
