I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
