Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
