Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
