I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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