clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
