And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
