yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
