Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she told me i tasted like america
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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