Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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