my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
