I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
