theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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