i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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