omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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