No stitches, just platelets and will power
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Randomize
