My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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