So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
