More tranny stories later!
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
