Non-Jews are for practice
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize