For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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