It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
