To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize