God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
