just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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