I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
