Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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