But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
