So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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