then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
