he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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