sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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