Where is the hickey?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
